He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
