That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
