i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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