You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
