yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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