Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
