The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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