I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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