go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
