.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
