tell your sister to shave her snatch
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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