Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
