So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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