Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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