I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
