We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
