I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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