I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
