I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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