I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
