Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
