I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
