Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing