Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.