Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
