she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
