Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
