Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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