I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize