im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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