she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
