Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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