Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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