They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
