Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
