He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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