am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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