I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
