This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
