You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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