"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
