she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
