I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
