I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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