weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
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I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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