you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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