the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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