i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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