I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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