ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
