he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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