Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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  (360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84
  Replies (26) Good night (5770) Bad night (783)
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  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

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  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (9841) Bad night (1006)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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  (508): I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that http://tfl.nu/gfaw
  Replies (24) Good night (3975) Bad night (1711)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.

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  (702): Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/674n
  Replies (18) Good night (1254) Bad night (3311)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.

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  (402): I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise. http://tfl.nu/i6qg
  Replies (6) Good night (3260) Bad night (888)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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  (605): Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away... http://tfl.nu/4asr
  Replies (4) Good night (1232) Bad night (1133)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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  (978): He was like a foghorn with a huge penis. http://tfl.nu/5kl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1697) Bad night (913)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".

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  (973): Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise". http://tfl.nu/r9vi
  Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (1925)
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  (716): View more from New York

  As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."

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  (716): As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is." http://tfl.nu/8j8j
  Replies (34) Good night (5801) Bad night (1282)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

  (619): View more from California

  This is a dangerous realization

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  (973): wine lets you be on time to class apparently (619): This is a dangerous realization http://tfl.nu/clwe
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (827)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

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  (717): Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater http://tfl.nu/z0ly
  Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (719)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.

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  (469): I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep. http://tfl.nu/gn6b
  Replies (13) Good night (1861) Bad night (360)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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  (801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy
  Replies (7) Good night (1688) Bad night (305)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.

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  (716): I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. http://tfl.nu/ab56
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (196)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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  (602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx
  Replies (9) Good night (1114) Bad night (270)

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