Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
