What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year