Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club