no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.