I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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