Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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