I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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