My pussy is not your playground.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
