You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
